Opps I did it again!

That is Sin I mean.

Is Sin ever worth it? A defiant "Yes" you say (and me too, more often than not, sadly....) The Tempter (or ourselves) starts with an innocent delectable thot in our minds, pepper it with doubts of God's goodness, stir in a huge dose of self pity and layer it with a icing coating of self-gratification and wa-lah, you hv full blown sin, creamed in sugary death, a-la-mode.

As you try a slice of it. "A little wont hurt" you say (famous last words...). Your taste buds goes wild as sin tingles and titillate. You throw caution to the wind. You ask for seconds, "sligtly bigger slice pls" you venture. It went down faster than the first. You go for thirds, "is this the largest you hv?" you demanded. Slice by slice its goes down and for a brief fleeting moment you feel satisfied and ecstatic. You begin to wonder why you haven't had this in years. You were right all along, God was just a party pooper.

You realise you're still hungry. Maybe even hungrier than before. "Give me the lot" you demanded, but all is left is a plateful of crumbs and an addiction that wont go away like a pesky blow fly in Australia's summer heat. Your belligerent demands wears down to a sobbing whimper as you realised that sin didn't fill. It could never to begin with.

"17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different

1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. 3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

Romans 7 & 8 (The Message Bible, fm www.biblegateway.com )

Why lecture?

Below is an exerpt fm my application form to be a lecturer:

20. Reasons for applying for this post and why I consider myself well suited.

I desire to influence people in a positive manner and inspire them to fulfill their greatest potential. I was a volunteer English tutor for refugee students from Sudan for about two year during my undergrad days at The University of Melbourne and I found the experience very rewarding and challenging at the same time. Rewarding because I see the students growing intellectually and also in character. Challenging because it’s a very slow and tedious process and sometimes the students give up.

Currently I’m also enrolled in my company’s mentorship program with Chestnut Drive Secondary School where we meet regularly with students at Sungie Buloh to encourage them. I also started an informal peer-tutoring group in my department to help new Operators get up to speed in their work. Currently I’m leading a team of four Operators on the LPG Desk. All these experiences confirm (to myself at least), that I am able to effectively coach and influence people for growth (both intellectually and character wise). Not to mention I get a tremendous high in the process!
Apart from teaching, I’m an advocate for research. I believe there is great value in good thinking. Fm my year long honours research paper (“The impact of a computerised routing technology: a socio-technological approach”), I discovered the joys and pains of academic research. Honing my ability to think well is a skill I want to further develop. My current job does not allow me to think broadly enough. And I think that teaching will be able to provide a platform for that.

A prayer answered : )

Today i went back to work to face the on-slaught of being away for 4 straight days. And on top of that covering for a colleague. I prayed for God's grace and strength. I told God I didn't expect the situation to change but grant me the peace to know that He is sovereign and that He will provide. So instead of cursing under my breath when something goes wrong, i take a deep breath and remind myself of His help. And help He did!!! Surprisingly one of my teammates came over and asked if he could help. Not once did he ask but twice!!!! (i'm not sure why he did so, maybe out of seer pity...) After completing what i requested which took quite a bit of time and effort, he further volunteered to do more. I'm dumbfounded!!! Let me remind you that i work in a bottle line driven department and such charity is rare if not non-existent (ok i'm exaggerating a little here). All I can say is praise God!!! ; )

Why blog again?

I haven't blogged in ages. My last entry was 14th September 2005 (http://www.xanga.com/honeysoy). It feels weird writing again. What's weirder is that i found a comment posted on my previous blog in July 2006. I can't believe that someone was actually reading it.

So why am i blogging again? I told a friend that I'll start blogging again when I start my teaching career (coz i think i'll hv more time and more interesting stuff to reflect upon). But I haven't started teaching yet. (I just printed out the application form. So much stuff to fill up...must go dig up my old transcipts...) Well i'm partly blogging coz i've to start an account in order to view my good friends blog so i thot why not i start blogging now.

I wonder if anyone is reading this. So weird....

oh, one more thing i want to add. Today i continued to ask God for a specific sign to confirm the decision to move into teaching now. I was reading Gideon in the bible (Judges 6) and like Gideon who asked a confirmation fm God, i too wanted that reassurance. But i'm not sure a sign will be given. I shared this with a firend over coffee this afternoon and he told me that maybe a sign will be given only when I move into teaching (he was speaking fm his own experience when he moved into full time). But for me, intellectually i'm convinced its a right move as its in line with what i value in life i.e. investing for eternity, loving God and loving His people. But its still nice to hv a clear sign fm God....like Gideon did : )

NB: I love the story of Gideon, esp the part where God addressed him as "Mighty Warrior" when dear fightful Gidon was hidding in the wine press threshing wheat. And Gideon in all honesty (or foolardy) accused God of abonding his people. Instead of striking him down with lightening, God sent Gideon to save his people i.e. Gideon became an answer to his own prayers. In many ways i can identify with Gideon, being afraid and blaming God... But I love how God is so gracious to Gideon and how God could see the potential that no one else even Gideon couldn't see in himself. And eventually God helped Gideon realise his full potential with God as his strength and guide. Beautiful story! You should read it http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=judges%206&version=31